just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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