i always forget guys have bellybuttons
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
