if i can run in heels then i can drive
kristin has been a bad kristin
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He has the fingertips of a God
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
