Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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