I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
