Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
