were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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