I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
