I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
