At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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