thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
