It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
