Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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