The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
