i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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