That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
