I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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