I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
