ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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