I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
