I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
