It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
