you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
