on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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