just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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