My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
