no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
