just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
