My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
