You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Randomize
