why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
