But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
