I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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