Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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