watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
