I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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