I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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