hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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