Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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