I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
