College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
