I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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