i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
