I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
