yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
