dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you didnt know i had herpes?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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