well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
