sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
