I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
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