Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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