You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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