"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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