i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
the day after is always just damage control
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
